Every few years, the bastions of British music get together to graciously donate a few hours of their invaluable time so they can sing a couple of lines of a 30-year-old pop song. Not only do they donate the minutes and hours it takes to rattle off those famous lyrics, they also donate their voices, their breath, the very essence of life, you might say, and they do it all to save Africa.
The dust has now settled on the monstrosity that was Bob Geldof unveiling #Bandaid30 on last week’s X-Factor. I mean, what better way to galvanise public support than by having a rambling, white-haired Prefessor Weeto tribute act come on live TV and tell the good people of Great Britain to “give us your fucking money”. That may not have actually happened, but you get the point: PEOPLE ARE DYING.
This is clearly illustrated in the #BandAid30 video as the first 15 or so seconds are devoted to the horrors of ebola. The harrowing images show health workers equipped with Go-Pro cameras swarm into a dying woman’s house. The first shots of the woman show her lying on her bed topless, breasts exposed. In the next shot, which is closer to the woman, someone has placed a bra over her chest. She lies on the soiled mattress, writhing in agony, before being carried out by two health workers.
It is horrific, like something out of a movie. But that is the image Bob Geldof and his mates decided would be the best way they could SHOCK the public into donating money. Whatever happened to moving aware from such demeaning and deceitful tactics? Who is that woman? Did she survive? Does she have a story to tell? Who gave Bob Geldof permission to show this near-naked lady at her very lowest, for the world to gawp at? I’ve yet to read anything about her. She gets about 17 seconds before the video shifts its tone to give those generous pop stars the remaining 4:33 of airtime.
Fuck. That. How is that empowering for the boys, girls, women, men, individuals, families whose lives have been ripped part by ebola? How is this telling their story? All these pop stars are doing is rehashing a terrible song that should have been laid to rest years ago.
All right, so they’re making a lot of money, and presumably the £1 million in pre-sales was all it took to convince Bob, Bono et al that they were doing the right thing, but at what cost does that money come? We’re 30 years into Band Aid now and some people still haven’t figured out that the song and everything it stands for is patronising, insulting, offensive.
Let’s not get too much into who is singing the song. African singers aren’t well-represented, that much is obvious, but that’s not the main problem with the song itself. The problem is that it’s always been a shit song. The lyrics were as ignorant 30 years ago as they are now — and that’s after someone apparently took the time to “rewrite” them, although whomever that person was, I won’t be hiring him or her to rejig any of my Christmas songs. Here are some of the new lyrics:
No peace and joy this Christmas in West Africa
The only hope they’ll have is being alive
Where to comfort is to fear
Where to touch is to be scared
How can they know it’s Christmas time at all
Who are these ignoramuses to say there will or won’t be joy in the WHOLE of West Africa this Christmas? Who are they to say the only hope "they" have is being alive? How arrogant is that? That’s what the whole song is like. That’s always been what the whole song is like. It presents Africa (or West Africa in this updated version) as a single entity in which there is no hope, no joy, no happiness, only misery and despair, where everyone is a victim and helpless, in need of our support.
Hasn’t Bob learnt anything in 30 years? Does Bono not have an inkling of these things after all his extra-curricular activities?
So if the song is so inhenerlty shit, why couldn’t this group of apparently the most talented, exciting and current British music stars do something radical like, oh, I don’t know, writing another song? They’re professionals in the music industry and there are rather a lot of them, so presumably between them they could maybe put a bit of effort into it all and come up with something that isn’t three decades old.
Of course they could. If they actually gave a shit about ebola or Africa or anything else other than their precious egos. To make a big deal about these pop stars taking time out of their "hectic schedules" to come to London for like one day just underscores how lazy this whole #BandAid30 thing has been.
#BandAid30 is selling by the bucketload. It’s going to be Christmas number 1 and it’s going to make millions of pounds, but the backlash against it, and there has been a considerable backlash, should be enough to prove once and for all that it’s in everyone’s best interests that this never happen again. Where are those millions of pounds going to go anyway? There’s no info on the website so we can only hope that it does get put to good use.
But once Christmas is over, let’s retire Band Aid to the annals of pop history — forever.
This song is much better. Buy it.
At the tender age of 31, I still consider myself a "young person" or "youth", if you will, even though the United Nations uses a pretty strict 15-24 definition. So when I get to work with other young people on things like youth forums and conferences, it feels less like work and more like doing something amazing with a group of friends.
Being a part of the Youth Skills Forum in the Philippines and the Asian Youth Forum in Kazakhstan have definitely been the highlights of my time with Plan International, especially as I got to learn a great deal from colleagues like John Trew, Plan's Youth Employment Specialist in Asia.
Now I have a new challenge: I'm leading a project putting together a delegation of young people who will be part of the upcoming Ministerial Meeting on Civil Registration and Vital Statistics (CRVS). It's both exciting and daunting at the same time.
I have seven young people from around Asia and two from Germany signed up and raring to go. Everyone has started getting to know each other through Skype, conference calls and a Facebook group. That means they can get comfortable working with each other and start developing their knowledge of the issues.
This group of young people – Team CRVS – will define their own roles at the conference and take ownership of everything they do. Their primary objective is to ensure that youth voices are heard and taken into account when governments think about civil registration and vital statistics. In Asia, this is a big deal as civil registration will be high on the post-2015 agenda.
Team CRVS are going to be involved in a number of activities, first and foremost the Youth Call To Action. This is where they will state their case to highlight the issues affecting unregistered children and young people, and call governments and relevant stakeholders to action. All this will take place at a special youth event during the conference, which will also feature a youth panel discussion led by the UN Secretary General's Envoy on Youth, Ahmad Alhendawi, who the group will get to work closely with.
As if that weren't enough, two members of Plan Germany's Youth Advisory Panel will also be there to present their experiences advocating for greater investment in birth registration. This campaign saw them travel across Germany collecting fingerprints as a kind of petition to present to their governments to call for greater investment in civil registration systems.
Then there will also be all kinds of youth reporter activities (blogging, tweeting, Facebooking, filming, interviewing) that will give the young people the chance to really make their voices heard across Plan's online platforms, as well as the channels of our United Nations partners.
So there's a lot to organise to put everything together. Obviously I'm not doing it entirely on my own and I have the unwavering support of my boss, Nicoleta Panta, the Plan Asia Regional Office (my trusted allies), and a bunch of other people who are helping me out on this journey. But it's hard to escape the feeling that I really don't want to let these young people down.
I'd love to hear from those of you who have worked on similar projects. What are your top tips for ensuring everything goes smoothly?
You can meet the young people we are working with on the Team CRVS portal on the Plan website.
Readers beware: there is an elite group of mischievous hackers forcing their way into the social media accounts of unsuspecting victims and posting dumb shit on their behalf in order to whip the media into a frenzy and do lasting reputational damage. These hackers must be stopped.
One of them recently got into the Twitter account of The Dignity Project, a Scottish charity working in Africa with orphans and vulnerable children. The dastardly devil managed to cross-post an extremely rude tweet from a Facebook status update about beloved author of wizard books, JK Rowling.
Oh the horror! This prompted an outcry from the public and a very serious investigation was launched by very serious charity regulators. The good folks at The Dignity Project quickly put out a curiously worded statement to clear the air and explain to the world what had gone on.
The Dignity Project has had it's Twitter account hacked
We are not responsible for any tweets that have been sent.
As a charity we do not take any political stance and our opinion is people are free to donate to whoever they choose.
To the people who hacked our account if helping African children to thrive and survive including single mums is bad thing that is their problem.
Think of the single mums! Astonishingly, the bastard hacker has managed to keep the tweet up for TWO FULL DAYS at the time of writing. Yup, it's still there. Why oh why has this happened to good people saving orphans?!
OK let's get real for a minute. Nobody hacked The Dignity Project's severely neglected Twitter account. It was, until just a day or so ago, linked directly to the Facebook account of William McDonald-Wood, one of the founders of The Dignity Project. If you clicked on the links on the Twitter feed, they'd take you straight to the corresponding posts on his Facebook page. Once the world had gone mad jumping to the defence of lovely JK, that Facebook account was deleted. Notice the FB link in the bitch tweet. Despite going AWOL from Facebook, the said chap does, however, still have his own personal neglected Twitter feed up, although it's not much to look at.
Here's what happened: William set up the Dignity Project Twitter account back in 2009 and he didn't really know what to do with it, so he just followed a few people, linked it to his Facebook account and then forgot about it/lost access to it. Everything went up there, including the books he and his wife were trying to flog on eBay.
Months and then years passed without anything earth-shattering happening. He did call David Cameron an asshole, but there was surprisingly no fallout from that tweet.
Oh, and he also had a problem with Maria Miller…
…the Lib Dems…
…David Cameron again…
…and the list goes on. They've also been "hacked" before!
There are a few things we can all learn from this debacle:
- Linked FB/Twitter accounts are the work of the devil
- If you're not going to do social media well, don't do it all
- Don't set up social media accounts if you aren't going to use them effectively
- Have a purpose to your social media; don't just do it for the sake of it
- Have a crisis comms plan in place in case things do go wrong
- Don't blame "hackers" when you stuff up
- Be honest about your mistakes and don't make things worse by lying