I received this e-mail from a girl in England on Friday last week:

I’m just after some advice. I’m doing some traveling next year and I want to spend some time in Thailand. My Mum’s freaking at the idea, she thinks it’s too dangerous. Some of the books I’ve read have emphasized there is a lot of mugging, etc. going on. Is it really like that? Bangkok isn’t really appealing, but seeing some of the country’s islands is what I’m after. Any advice?

It made me think about my Mum and how she also thinks that Bangkok is one big slum where people are shot and hit over the head with baseball bats on a daily basis. I asked the girl who sent me the e-mail why she thought it is a dangerous city, and I got this reply:

My mum thinks it’s unsafe for a few reasons: My aunt and uncle went, and my aunt had a bad time and apparently got groped. My mum is a driving instructor and has taught Thai women who have told her they are treated pretty bad over there. She mentioned something about a lad being killed over there for his mobile phone? Funnily enough, she hasn’t mentioned anything that has been in the news, such as the bombings, or the two Russian women who were shot on the beach last week.

It seems to be a common line of thought that Bangkok is a risky city in which to live, but I, foolishly or not, have never felt unsafe here, even walking around late at night. But with everything that has happened over the past six months, and all the troubles that seem to be escalating in public eye, are we at risk just walking the streets? The e-mail I received got me thinking.

It’s not so much the threat of petty crime that bothers me at the moment, but more so the possibility of terrorism taking a hold of the city. I’m uncertain about how well prepared Bangkok is for such a spate of attacks.

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OK so it’s not half past three, but it’s still late and the idea of sleep seems a little way off as I’ve drunk far too much M150 tonight. Once again there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to get my work done and do anything else. I had a brief nap when I got home, but I’ve started realizing recently that I probably work more than I sleep. It’s good for getting money, but not so good for juggling a social schedule, eating, and my full-time job. Of course, I’m not complaining, my portfolio is going to be huge and I’m saving some $$$ which all helps. I just sometimes feel like I need a holiday, which I would be getting next week were it not for work.

I was in Koh Lanta last week, and while this was kind of a holiday, I still had to do a lot of work. Life seems quite positive at the moment for one reason or another, but what would happen if I left all of this behind? That’s a question I need to confront sooner rather than later. I’m beginning to feel re-settled after a period of confusion. What I’m most afraid of, however, is that I will just stay in Thailand forever, never leaving, living comfortably, but not really fulfilling my bigger goals. Ah, it would be so easy to stay here. There’s a lot of work, and networking is relatively simple, but how many more people would come and go, how many more times would I think I had my life made and then decide actually I don’t?

One thing that made me feel incredibly nostalgic, to the point of being almost in tears, was watching Rocky 6 last night. I’m a little ashamed to admit this, but it was such a great movie. Maybe you have to have seen the first five to really “get” it, but I thought Sylvester Stallone did such a stellar job. He really captured the essence of the first movie. I grew up watching Rocky. I’ve lost count of how many times I saw the movies as a child. Watching it again kind of made me think of home, of my childhood, of the people I’ve lost touch with, the people I still remember. Even people I haven’t seen for 15 years still play on my mind sometimes. What are they doing now? Do they remember the times we spent together doing the stupid things that children do?

Being seven-years-old, you think you’ve got life sussed. I remember that every time there was a school disco, to be one of the cool kids you had to wet your hair with water and then wear a cap. I played football every day. I woke up at 7 a.m. without an alarm clock and watched cartoons. If I had been bad I would write my Mum a letter apologizing. Having a Kinder egg was the greatest thing in the world. Times were simple, and back then I had a complete family. But things change and here I am a long way from home.

I wonder if they still remember me.

Techno' tags: Life, Rocky, Retrospection

This is a script that I wrote for Lucky Cat TV. It's a new project that I've become involved with and I think it's a great idea that could develop into something much better. At the moment it's in the preliminary stages, but if you click here you can see the first couple of attempts. My script is used with the video that has Alex as the presenter (although this is my first, unedited draft). The presenter is going to change when the right person is found, and the production will obviously be a lot better once this is launched for real. Check it out though.

———- As young lovers across Bangkok prepared to spend a heartwarming evening together on Valentine’s Days on Wednesday, the Thai police force were stationed across the city to make sure the romance was kept on a leash.

The crackdown on public displays of affection was the brainchild of Police Lieutenant Vorawat Amornviwat, who set up patrols in high risk areas, such as malls, parks and bus stations, as the city’s real criminals were given the night off.

While thousands of men, women and ladyboys got their rocks off in Patpong, Khun Vorawat was adamant that any teenagers found engaged in such outrageous acts as kissing or holding hands would be given stern tellings-off and returned to their parents.

He added that Valentine’s Day was when teenagers were most likely to succumb to sexual urges.

The move came after the Culture Ministry issued its “Ten Commandments of Love” last weekend. The commandments were introduced to dissuade teenagers from having sex on the most romantic day of the year, clearly meaning that sex on any other day is OK.

With stopping teenagers having fun high on the agenda of the Bangkok Metropolitan police this week, the mystery of who blew up Bangkok on New Year’s Eve was put on hold as the boys in brown went chasing after teenage girls.

Staying with Valentine’s Day, a disturbed Malaysian couple, married for 35 years, revealed that they still date every day, refusing to give up the goat and keeping their relationship as fiery as when they first met.

Proving that romance is not dead, every night the happy couple drives in their Honda CRX sports car to a local pub where they make out in a corner until 1 a.m.

Mr. Borthwick and his wife, who have known each other since they were teenagers, revealed that even when they argue they still find time to say “sorry” before going to bed.

The elderly lovers said they did not believe in the commercial side of Valentine’s Day, instead opting to hump like rabbits in the back of Mr. Borthwick’s Honda CRX.

Sickening.

Disgruntled Malaysian citizens have called upon the Thai police force to offer support in establishing a ban on public displays of affection amongst senior citizens.

In Hong Kong this week, as the world prepares to wave goodbye to the Year of the Dog, fortune tellers are warning against imminent disaster coming about during the Year of the Pig.

Feng shui expert Raymond Lo predicted a cheery forecast of more guns, fighting, wars, and bombs across the world, to add to all the guns, fighting, wars, and bombs that hit the headlines in 2006.

Another Feng shui expert, Lee Sing-tong, took time out of his busy furniture-moving schedule to say that it was likely that the Year of Pig will see more “explosions.”

The mischievous pig is even expected to cause an interest rate hike in the USA and an enormous earthquake in an unknown Japanese city.

Offering some light at the end of the tunnel, Lee said that an important person, maybe even a future prime minister, would be born somewhere in China on June 30 between 5.00 – 6.59 a.m., possibly to a woman.

The lucky child prodigy will be born into an era of international turmoil and grief, although feng shui experts have promised be on hand to help him arrange his furniture as and when needed.

A further feng shui expert predicted that the Year of the Pig will also bring about a significant increase in the libidos of elderly couples.

It really is the end of the world.

Old people in Singapore were given a new reason to stay alive this week as it was announced that a bonus of up to $1,000 would be given out to seniors, just for being old.

The news came on the same day that it was revealed that the suicide rate amongst the elderly was down from 77 cases in 2005 to 52 in 2006.

With all new reasons not to top themselves, the number is expected to decrease dramatically in 2007, greatly increasing the number of confused drivers on Singapore’s roads.

Further plans to take care of the elderly were revealed as the government continued to force medical professionals to learn skills in geriatric care.

Singapore’s love for the elderly knows no bounds.

Ironically, the number of cat-related websites in Asia saw a dramatic increase during the Year of the Dog.

One of the most dedicated cat websites is Cat Antics, which sees one devoted Singaporean cat lover, Cat Aunty, take daily pictures of a number of the cats in her life and post them online.

Recent antics include a cat singing for biscuits and then singing for sardines, a chubby cat sleeping on a laptop, a cat stalking a fat pigeon, and an innocent cat hanging around with a group of hooligan cats. The love of Cat Aunty for her animals is touching.

This cat journal has been kept for almost two years although it is yet to receive the exposure it so clearly deserves.

I haven't been able to blog much recently as I've been away in Koh Lanta this week, so before I have the chance to write about that or anything else, here is an article that was published a few weeks ago. It was written from the perspective of a soi dog. You may have read it already.

———-I just bit a farang. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a good heart, but when you’re out there roaming the sois you’ve got to show that you can hold your own. Even though we live a very different lifestyle from you, we still live in the same country, walk the same sidewalks, and sometimes we eat the same food, but I think really we all know who is running the city, and it’s certainly not you lot; there’s so much you don’t see.

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"What should I wear?"

"Just normal clothes."

"What about shoes?"

"Just wear normal shoes."

"What do I do when I get on?"

"Just act normal."

The plan was simple: I was to make a journey along the winding roads of Bangkok with a girl who had never been on a bus before. "I'm going to complain all the way; you know this don't you?" said the girl. I knew this.

I'd wanted to see the real Bangkok by bus since I'd first arrived in Thailand. My theory was that by getting on and off buses, without ever knowing where you were going, you would besure to come across weird and wonderful people and places. You would find parts of the city no tourist ever sees. It all sounds so romantic, so fantastical, but my first attempt at making such a trip had ended in confusion more than a year and a half ago.

Unsure how the bus system worked, I'd managed to infuriate and bemuse numerous bus conductors. Trying to explain to them that I didn't mind where I was going proved difficult using hand signals alone. I was ushered off more buses than I can remember, although at one point I did find a small park to take a nap in. For these reasons I needed a guide, and this guide came in the form of The Princess, a young girl easily distracted by anything shiny or pink.

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