I was summoned to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Bangkok a few weeks ago. At work, we were told that we all need to go to Bangkok at some point in order to apply for non-immigrant M visas, which are media visas. I haven’t heard of any other companies that have been told to do this, but whatever the reasons behind changing our visas, it’s good news because it means I now have a one-year extension to stay.

Before, I was on a non-immigrant B visa. The company I work for employs too many foreign staff and pays too low a salary to apply for a one-year extension to stay on a non-immigrant B visa. In the past, all employees of the company I work for have had to do visa runs every three months.

This is great news for foreigners working in the media here who have been stuck with only three-month extensions to stay. The process of application was straightforward. I had a half-hour meeting in Bangkok with a young chap who asked me about what I am doing here, why I have chosen to work in Thailand – basic questions.

A few days later I received a number of envelopes from Bangkok, one of which was the paperwork needed to have my visa altered, granting me a one-year extension to stay. I can now apply for a media card, which will require another trip to Bangkok.

Before those of you who dislike me say something along the lines of, “You are a disgrace to journalism and the media and the whole system is a sham,” please hold your horses because all many of you know me from are this blog and my almost-disastrous column in Guru Magazine.

Anyway, I’ve been granted another year’s stay so you are all going to have to put up with me for at least that period of time.

This is so funny I actually cried when I read it. It's an exchange between a guy staying in a London hotel and the staff of the hotel. The letters were sent to The Sunday Times.

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Imperial Leather. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish.

They are in my way.

Thank you,

S. Berman

Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested.

The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today.

My instructions from the management are to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid.

I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap.

When I got back to my room this evening, found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.

I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Imperial Leather, so I won't need those 6 little Camays, which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.

Please remove them.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service.

I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal attention, Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.

Thank you.

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper.

Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.

I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet, along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the Bathroom shelf.

In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.

Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5PM.

Thank you,

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper.

Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Imperial Leather is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room, including my own bath-size Imperial Leather. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman.

Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.

I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room.

The situation will be rectified immediately.

Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager.

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room?

I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Imperial Leather.

Do you realise I have 54 bars of soap in here?

All I want is my bath-size Imperial Leather.

Please give me back my bath-size Imperial Leather.

S. Berman.

Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed.

Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing, so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily.

I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.

Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps, so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays.

I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Imperial Leather.

However, I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory, which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper.

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.

As of today I possess:

On the shelf under the medicine cabinet, 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. On the Kleenex dispenser, 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.

On the bedroom dresser, 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.

Inside the medicine cabinet, 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

In the shower soap dish, 6 Camay, very moist.

On the northeast corner of the tub, 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.

On the northwest corner of the tub, 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted.

Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip over.

May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.

One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-size Imperial Leather which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

From Reuters today:

Thousands of tourists have flocked to Thailand's Surin province to watch elephants show off their soccer and dart-throwing skills at an annual festival said to be the largest of its kind.

The show in Thailand's elephant heartland has become one of the country's biggest tourist drawcards since it began in 1960, with 11-aside elephant soccer traditionally the favourite event.

Surin province's elephant handlers, or 'mahouts', have been known for centuries for their expertise in rounding up the animals to pull logs from the country's lucrative forests.

But they were forced to turn to tourism for business and train their elephants to do tricks when the country banned logging in 1989.

I must make a point to visit Surin at some point. Has anyone been?

Leaving parties are great. They’re a chance to relive happy memories, say goodbye to friends and bid farewell to the clowns you didn’t really get along with but had to bear anyway. In Thailand, a leaving party is much the same as in the West as people go out, get drunk – the usual. But if people ever throw you a leaving party in Thailand, don’t forget to foot the bill or you might end the night on a sour note.

When I left my last job, everyone was excited at the prospect of heading to Pla Dib after work to drink whiskey and eat great food. One of the girls at work told me how much she was looking forward to the party and that I would have to pay for the drinks. I thought she was joking and laughed it off. Even when she threatened not to come, I still didn’t believe her.

The night came around and eventually it dawned on me that this is some sort of Thai custom – the leaver pays. Whereas back home, you’d expect to be treated by your colleagues, in Thailand, the logic appears to be that people are attending because of you, so you should treat them. It makes sense really, but can be a little confusing. I think my colleagues took pity on me and we ended up sharing the bill, but I definitely broke some unwritten rule.

A friend of mine in Bangkok is holding a leaving party next week. She had the bright idea of charging everyone 250 baht to attend, but she is still going to have to stump up 4,000 baht extra. She had a preliminary leaving party this week and it cost her 3,000 baht.

If you’re going to stay in Thailand for any length of time, it would be wise not to change jobs too often. Leaving the country could result in financial ruin, so better do it on the quiet (that's a joke, by the way).

Addendum: Well, I've asked a few more people about this and it looks like I might be completely wrong. In Bangkok, this is what I was told is tradition, but some people are saying it's the complete opposite. Can anyone clear this up? I'm a bit confused now.

From the British Council today:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Muse are disappointed to have to announce the cancellation of their show in Bangkok Hall on Wednesday 28 November. They hope to reschedule as soon as their schedule allows.