I’m not particularly keen on the whole “travelling” thing. There’s something I don’t enjoy about the feeling of being in a place and having no idea where to go or what to do. When I see backpackers traipsing around with their guidebooks in hand and huge bags slung over their shoulders, I feel sorry for them because they may as well have a sign floating above them that says, “I need help, I don’t know where I’m going.”

So for those reasons, I try and avoid any form of excursion or trip or sightseeing outing organized by a tour group. Call it irrational, ridiculous pathetic — sure — but that’s how I feel. I do make exceptions, of course, like when I went to Viqueque and stayed at my friend’s eco-lodge.

Anyway, I was in the far-northern part of Bali this week, in a place called Lovina, next to Singaraja. It’s a quiet place with few tourists, although in Lovina there’s a little spot full of guesthouses and bars and people offering “transport!” and “bakso!”

Somehow, I’d let myself be persuaded to go on a dolphin hunt. The idea was that we’d get up at 5.30 am, go on a boat and see some dolphins. I wasn’t enthralled about the idea. Nothing against dolphins, but I just don’t find them particularly exciting.

It was, however, worth paying the six bucks to go out in the boat and just feel the sea breeze. The only problem was that there were about 30 other boats full of people with similar ideas. It was most bizarre. There were all these outrigger boats and each time there was a dolphin sighting, all the boats would speed over to them same place.

It’s true that dolphins are exceptionally smart. Those little porpoises have made a game out of leading a bunch of idiots around the sea for an hour every morning. The dolphins have it sorted: they show up at the surface for a few seconds, wait for the frenzy to begin and then go off and hide for 10 minutes while everyone frantically tries to get their cameras out to take pictures.

It was a really sad spectacle. We saw more boats than dolphins. It became rather exhausting after a while and I eventually forgot all about the dolphins and started daydreaming about nothing in particular.

We were back on shore by 9 am and hounded by locals trying to sell us small wooden dolphins. I’d recommend paying someone to go out on a boat, but forget about the dolphins and just cruise around for a bit.

Incidentally, it only takes a couple of hours to get from the Kuta area to Singaraja, right at the top of Bali. It’s a pleasant ride of about 90 kilometres and we did it on a moped.

Oh, and there were some dolphins…