Tempo Semanal's latest attack has been levlled at Timor-Leste's finance minister, Emilia Pires. According to the headline, Pires alleges (present tense) that Taur Matan Ruak, commander of Timor-Leste's armed forces, wants to carry out a coup.

Then we get to this:

Despite this fact the former Falintil Chief of Staff continues to be the target of all sorts of accusations including of acting discriminatorily, being an assassin (ed: as in 2006) and lately of wanting to undertake a coup, as can be seen in an email by Dr. Emilia Pires, the current Finance Minister in the Fourth Constitutional Government, as well as by Ms. Ines Almeida who alleged that Taur Matan Ruak would act undemocratically and carry out a coup against his former Commander in Chief. “ I feel that some people are preparing the land in ET to follow the same steps…..,” (referring to the military coup in Fiji in 2006), wrote Dr Emilia in an email to 13 of her friends on 5 December 2006.

An email sent to 13 of her friends in 2006? Four years ago? This is yet another time private emails of the finance minister have trickled into the public eye.

This newspaper tried unsuccessfully to obtain clarification from the Finance Minister, Dr. Emilia Pires.

So in other words, there is no news, other than an attempt to do a spot of PR for Ruak while venting frustration at Pires for — rightly so — not having anything to say about this non-story.

This from the first paragraph of a Ministry of Defence and Security (Timor-Leste) press release:

As part as the Timor-Leste Strategic Development Plan, the IV Constitutional Government acquired two Shanghai III Class patrol vessels from the Popular Republic of China. The Secretary of State of Defence explained some issues in relation to this purchase, in an interview to the radio Program “Goodbye Conflict, Welcome Development”.

That's not even a real radio programme, is it?

Did I mention I'm available for hire?

From Diario. At this point, I can only assume it's a misunderstanding by the journalist or a bad translation, but if it's not, then well…

Prime Minister Xanana Gusmao threatened Tuesday in Baucau to resign if his National Development Plan is not approved by the National Parliament.

I've been away all week so I'm a little out of touch with what's been happening in the country.

Although this is a couple of weeks old, it still warrants a mention, if only because I don't foresee another opportunity where I might justifiably be able to use a picture of the world's favourite blue robot cartoon cat, Doraemon.

This from Diario on March 30:

Japanese Ambassador to Timor-Leste Iwao Kitahara and his delegation were stoned by an unidentified group in Los Palos last Saturday (27/3) following a screening of Doraemon at a local market there.

Lawmakers then got involved:

Members of Parliament have called on the national police force to thoroughly investigate the case in Los Palos in which a delegation of the Japanese Ambassador to Timor-Leste was stoned during a screening of the animated [show] Doraemon last week.

The stone hit Mrs Kitahara [ambassador's wife], who was also present during the screening.

After? During? Who cares?! It's Doraemon! For those not in the know, Doaremon has been hailed as "the cuddliest hero in asia". Doraemon is a blue robot cat who travels back in time from the 22nd century to help a schoolboy called Nobita Nobi. Doraemon was sent back in time by Nobita's great-great grandson to lend a hand to the hapless child. Luckily for everyone, Doraemon has a number of magic gadgets at his disposal. Hilarity ensues every episode.

Not a bad idea. These events keep on coming. Underwater Timor-Leste for more.