After the discussion that went on here with regards to katoey toilets at a Thai school and the subsequent talk over at Roger’s blog, I asked someone whose opinion is perhaps a little more in touch with the issue than any of ours. This post was written by Nong Duu from Phet Ti Saam. — Matt
Basics first: there is no word in Western languages that really fits the meaning of the Thai word กะเทย (katoey). Western languages have developed words to describe a person’s lifestyle and behavior (transvestite, cross-dresser) or self-perception (transsexual), but none of those is a sufficient translation for the word “katoey”, although almost all Thai-English dictionaries say so.
One doesn’t need to walk too long through the streets of Bangkok to recognize the apparent variety of those people who are referred to as katoey: boys with short hair and men’s clothes, but a slightly effeminate behavior, boys with perfect make-up but men’s clothes and, last but not least, beautiful women who once were boys. All of them are katoey, yet all of them are different.
If you ask me for a definition I would say: katoey are males born with a female heart. How much of a woman they are ranges from 0 to 120%.
That also complies with the Thai saying “dua ben chai jai ben ying” (“the body is male, but the heart is female”). So the word “ladyboy“ is not so far from the truth.
“The third sex“ is just another alternative to describe most of us, although many of us (who would be called “transsexuals” in the West) really deserve it to be referred to as women – because that’s what we are. To deal with that, Thai language evolved the expression “saao praphet song“ (“a woman of the second kind”).
With that basic knowledge of the nomenclature, it might be easier to understand, why there is a necessity for a third bathroom for katoeys.
It is not a lifestyle for which the additional toilet is set up, but a whole part of society. By the way, the sign at the ladyboy`s toilet at Kampang High School does not say “katoey toilet“ but “hong naam bandaw“. “Bandaw” is an ancient Sanskrit word that expresses the same thing as katoey, but sounds even more polite and sophisticated.
The reality at Thai high schools is that all boys have to have short hair, a rule that doesn’t exclude ladyboys. The young katoey often try to compensate that confinement by exaggerated effeminate behavior and lots of makeup, which makes it strange to see them walking into the boys’ bathroom, but the girls’ room doesn’t seem to be the right place, too. Besides, the fact that boys, girls and katoeys are in the middle of puberty with all its bashfulness and reservations doesn’t help much either.
So an own restroom for those who are stuck between a rock and a hard place seems the be just the right answer and also gives them acceptance besides the dancing shows that they perform at school festivals.
So there is no reason to speak of gender divisions or discrimination, because the most important thing about those new restrooms is that to go there is only a “can“ but never a “must“. I am pretty sure that there won’t be too much trouble if a katoey student still went to the boys’ room and another more feminine one sneaks into the girls’ room, which is hard to imagine, now that they have their own one.
If those katoey toilets become established throughout the whole country, the third sex would get the official recognition, that it already holds and deserves in everyday life.