Girl at heart
After the discussion that went on here with regards to katoey toilets at a Thai school and the subsequent talk over at Roger’s blog, I asked someone whose opinion is perhaps a little more in touch with the issue than any of ours. This post was written by Nong Duu from Phet Ti Saam. — Matt
Basics first: there is no word in Western languages that really fits the meaning of the Thai word กะเทย (katoey). Western languages have developed words to describe a person’s lifestyle and behavior (transvestite, cross-dresser) or self-perception (transsexual), but none of those is a sufficient translation for the word “katoey”, although almost all Thai-English dictionaries say so.
One doesn’t need to walk too long through the streets of Bangkok to recognize the apparent variety of those people who are referred to as katoey: boys with short hair and men’s clothes, but a slightly effeminate behavior, boys with perfect make-up but men’s clothes and, last but not least, beautiful women who once were boys. All of them are katoey, yet all of them are different.
If you ask me for a definition I would say: katoey are males born with a female heart. How much of a woman they are ranges from 0 to 120%.
That also complies with the Thai saying “dua ben chai jai ben ying” (“the body is male, but the heart is female”). So the word “ladyboy“ is not so far from the truth.
“The third sex“ is just another alternative to describe most of us, although many of us (who would be called “transsexuals” in the West) really deserve it to be referred to as women – because that’s what we are. To deal with that, Thai language evolved the expression “saao praphet song“ (“a woman of the second kind”).
With that basic knowledge of the nomenclature, it might be easier to understand, why there is a necessity for a third bathroom for katoeys.
It is not a lifestyle for which the additional toilet is set up, but a whole part of society. By the way, the sign at the ladyboy`s toilet at Kampang High School does not say “katoey toilet“ but “hong naam bandaw“. “Bandaw” is an ancient Sanskrit word that expresses the same thing as katoey, but sounds even more polite and sophisticated.
The reality at Thai high schools is that all boys have to have short hair, a rule that doesn’t exclude ladyboys. The young katoey often try to compensate that confinement by exaggerated effeminate behavior and lots of makeup, which makes it strange to see them walking into the boys’ bathroom, but the girls’ room doesn’t seem to be the right place, too. Besides, the fact that boys, girls and katoeys are in the middle of puberty with all its bashfulness and reservations doesn’t help much either.
So an own restroom for those who are stuck between a rock and a hard place seems the be just the right answer and also gives them acceptance besides the dancing shows that they perform at school festivals.
So there is no reason to speak of gender divisions or discrimination, because the most important thing about those new restrooms is that to go there is only a “can“ but never a “must“. I am pretty sure that there won’t be too much trouble if a katoey student still went to the boys’ room and another more feminine one sneaks into the girls’ room, which is hard to imagine, now that they have their own one.
If those katoey toilets become established throughout the whole country, the third sex would get the official recognition, that it already holds and deserves in everyday life.
June 25th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Well put!
June 25th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Indeed!
June 26th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Mathew Crook
I have good reason to believe you are making comments on your own blog from internet cafe’s. to make it seem like poeple actually care about your crappy blog ( easily the biggest bore of all Thailand blogs)
June 26th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
OK Shogun.
June 27th, 2008 at 4:06 am
I just still can’t understand what they do put in the water or air in Thailand to have created this population of katoyes in Thailand.
Is there any kind of scientific measurements about the portion of population who would identify themselves with this? Ofcourse the certainity of these studies would be open for debate and would need further studies the same as all estimates about the population percentage of gay men and women in population.
But just as this really really is something Very Thai. And this is not just something funny little Thai thing to put aside with a shrug but something I think seriously would need better context in society and human behavior.
Why on earth other countries do not have this phenomenon in such big quantities. Or is it really “big”, everything is proportional.
Everyone for sure has heard many arguments that being gay for example is not something you choose but it is most probably genetic same as most of at teenage years didnt “make decision that from now on I like boys or girls” (and sometimes partly socially learned thing too, ref. gay behavior in ancient Greek for example where it was commonly practiced but those men also went for women later in life).
So how about being katoy, how much of the prevelance can or could be contributed to genetics, and how much of it blossoms more “easily” because of its culturally more “acceptable” status in Thailand only (although this can be discussed too as katoyes have been in media for example always the stooges and still looked down upon in social order, their status in “royal and high influence houses” has been more of the jesters of the old courts in Europe and/or maybe temple prostitutes and entertainers of times gone by.)
Just thinkin’…
June 27th, 2008 at 4:27 am
Well there is an argument that gender is a social construct. Gender is perhaps a reflection of the society around it.
Coupled with this is the fact that katoeys are socially accepted (to a level). In many countries, people are not so open minded to this kind of gender matter. I think different cultures and societies play a big part in all of this, but I am no expert.
June 27th, 2008 at 5:23 am
Well, for one thing, in my humblest of opinion, to my knowledge, I was never thought in school that there is anything wrong with gays or katoeys in Buddhism. Since this is not a religious taboo, that’s one hurdle we already crossed.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:51 am
I know that most foreign people like to explain that “phenomenon” with buddhism as it is soooo tolerant. That`s only part of the truth. I talked to our author Victoria who was raised in a western country and she says that there is a huge transgender population in western countries, too - but they live it “stealth”, they don`t out themselves. The opener the society towards Transgender, Gay, Lesbians etc. the more people will out themselves. So Thailand is 90% open, which means you can consider 90% of the katoey population as “outed”. In the West it might be open towards gender issues just 50%, which is the reason why only 50% out themselves or at least allow themselves once in a while to live the way they really are.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I don’t think I’ve heard anything so silly “katoey toilets”. After all it’s a toilet, it is a place to relieve yourself, it has urinals and cubicles. If someone feels uncomfortable going in front of others use the cubicle. If you feel embarrassed when someone who looks slightly female walks in to the toilet, just look over at the female toilet attendant standing watching you, what is more embarrassing?
This is all a fuss about nothing, go to the toilet you desire, do what you have gone there for and move on. Don’t get hung up on silliness like this, the rest of the world has gone pc mad is Thailand following now? I hope not!