Lucky Cat TV: The beginning
This is a script that I wrote for Lucky Cat TV. It's a new project that I've become involved with and I think it's a great idea that could develop into something much better. At the moment it's in the preliminary stages, but if you click here you can see the first couple of attempts. My script is used with the video that has Alex as the presenter (although this is my first, unedited draft). The presenter is going to change when the right person is found, and the production will obviously be a lot better once this is launched for real. Check it out though.
The crackdown on public displays of affection was the brainchild of Police Lieutenant Vorawat Amornviwat, who set up patrols in high risk areas, such as malls, parks and bus stations, as the city’s real criminals were given the night off.
While thousands of men, women and ladyboys got their rocks off in Patpong, Khun Vorawat was adamant that any teenagers found engaged in such outrageous acts as kissing or holding hands would be given stern tellings-off and returned to their parents.
He added that Valentine’s Day was when teenagers were most likely to succumb to sexual urges.
The move came after the Culture Ministry issued its “Ten Commandments of Love” last weekend. The commandments were introduced to dissuade teenagers from having sex on the most romantic day of the year, clearly meaning that sex on any other day is OK.
With stopping teenagers having fun high on the agenda of the Bangkok Metropolitan police this week, the mystery of who blew up Bangkok on New Year’s Eve was put on hold as the boys in brown went chasing after teenage girls.
Staying with Valentine’s Day, a disturbed Malaysian couple, married for 35 years, revealed that they still date every day, refusing to give up the goat and keeping their relationship as fiery as when they first met.
Proving that romance is not dead, every night the happy couple drives in their Honda CRX sports car to a local pub where they make out in a corner until 1 a.m.
Mr. Borthwick and his wife, who have known each other since they were teenagers, revealed that even when they argue they still find time to say “sorry” before going to bed.
The elderly lovers said they did not believe in the commercial side of Valentine’s Day, instead opting to hump like rabbits in the back of Mr. Borthwick’s Honda CRX.
Sickening.
Disgruntled Malaysian citizens have called upon the Thai police force to offer support in establishing a ban on public displays of affection amongst senior citizens.
In Hong Kong this week, as the world prepares to wave goodbye to the Year of the Dog, fortune tellers are warning against imminent disaster coming about during the Year of the Pig.
Feng shui expert Raymond Lo predicted a cheery forecast of more guns, fighting, wars, and bombs across the world, to add to all the guns, fighting, wars, and bombs that hit the headlines in 2006.
Another Feng shui expert, Lee Sing-tong, took time out of his busy furniture-moving schedule to say that it was likely that the Year of Pig will see more “explosions.”
The mischievous pig is even expected to cause an interest rate hike in the USA and an enormous earthquake in an unknown Japanese city.
Offering some light at the end of the tunnel, Lee said that an important person, maybe even a future prime minister, would be born somewhere in China on June 30 between 5.00 – 6.59 a.m., possibly to a woman.
The lucky child prodigy will be born into an era of international turmoil and grief, although feng shui experts have promised be on hand to help him arrange his furniture as and when needed.
A further feng shui expert predicted that the Year of the Pig will also bring about a significant increase in the libidos of elderly couples.
It really is the end of the world.
Old people in Singapore were given a new reason to stay alive this week as it was announced that a bonus of up to $1,000 would be given out to seniors, just for being old.
The news came on the same day that it was revealed that the suicide rate amongst the elderly was down from 77 cases in 2005 to 52 in 2006.
With all new reasons not to top themselves, the number is expected to decrease dramatically in 2007, greatly increasing the number of confused drivers on Singapore’s roads.
Further plans to take care of the elderly were revealed as the government continued to force medical professionals to learn skills in geriatric care.
Singapore’s love for the elderly knows no bounds.
Ironically, the number of cat-related websites in Asia saw a dramatic increase during the Year of the Dog.
One of the most dedicated cat websites is Cat Antics, which sees one devoted Singaporean cat lover, Cat Aunty, take daily pictures of a number of the cats in her life and post them online.
Recent antics include a cat singing for biscuits and then singing for sardines, a chubby cat sleeping on a laptop, a cat stalking a fat pigeon, and an innocent cat hanging around with a group of hooligan cats. The love of Cat Aunty for her animals is touching.
This cat journal has been kept for almost two years although it is yet to receive the exposure it so clearly deserves.
you mentioned the "L" word again.. prepare urself for some more googlers searching for that.