I woke up today feeling disheartened
I got home late last night to discover that my new Seagate external hard drive had failed after an impressive week’s worth of usage. I was only using it as a backup so I won’t lose anything too important, but it did have all my movie files on it so they are now gone forever; including Appleseed, Akira and Kiki’s Delivery Service. It’s really rather annoying.
Last night’s Wrong Disco party that Will and I organized was pretty boring. The turnout was OK and ultimately I wasn’t all that bothered if it failed, but it was a horrible night for a number of reasons, most of which I should leave off a public blog.
I think it’s time to take a step back from the nightlife circuit. For so long now it’s seemed central to existence in Bangkok, but at the end of the day I find myself frustrated seeing the same faces that I only partially recognize almost every other day of the week. I also end up seeing a number of people whom I loathe. Why put myself in situations like this?
The Bangkok club scene is so fickle. Anybody who is anybody can organize a party and have their fifteen minutes in the spotlight. Hell, you don’t even need to have talent or ambition or be a decent human being. Listen to me all sanctimonious.
I have no drive to organize parties anymore because it’s become boring. In the UK it was fantastic because it was on a bigger scale and it was far more exciting. Here, it’s like a hobby without any methodology.
I also met an Australian lady yesterday who really epitomized my dislike for certain types of people. We were at Thammasat Uni (pics and words to follow soon) and we (Leigh and I) were looking for the anti-coup protest when we saw a guy we knew from Club Pros. We said we were looking for the protest to which the Australian lady asked, with a look of contempt upon her face: “Why are you getting involved?”
She then asked if we were registered with our embassies. Would you ever not go to a pop concert because you weren’t in the band? Do you have be native to take an interest in the city in which you live?
I woke up so disheartened that I smoked my first cigarette in a month (from a pack that had been left in my room). I only got half-way through it before I felt sick and my head started threatening to explode. I think my days of smoking cigarettes are numbered.
November 19th, 2006 at 11:19 am
Sounds like last night was kinda rough for you. Oh well look at me going to a party and all i could have was coke how pathetic.
Totally agree with you though that Bangkok is all about nightlife guess that’s why i never feel like i belong here..
November 20th, 2006 at 7:34 am
Who was that charming little lady that advised me to register with my Embassy? Looking back it would have been the perfect time to bust out with this quote from Apocalypse Now:
“…I’ve seen horrors… horrors that you’ve seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that… but you have no right to judge me. It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face… and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate the children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn’t see. We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember… I… I… I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized… like I was shot… like I was shot with a diamond… a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God… the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men… trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love… but they had the strength… the strength… to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral… and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling… without passion… without judgment… without judgment. Because it’s judgment that defeats us….” and so on and so forth…
peace
Leigh