This is the woman that took me in when I was but a lost youth without a purpose to keep me moving from day to day, so to speak. This woman is known affectionately by all foreigners as ‘Mama.’ The meaning is twofold, as she is not only the owner of the restaurant-cum-apartment block that I live in near Victory Monument, but she is also my self-proclaimed mother in Thailand.

I’m actually in some pain right now. I just ate a rather spicy fish curry type dish. I can feel my insides churning already. “He can eat spicy ‘cos he is my son,” announced Mama when one of the locals questioned why I was eating curry. Thais are forever baffled by a white man who can eat even the mildest of spicy foods. There is some sort of preconceived idea that all foreigners can only eat bland, unspiced foods. I’m here to disprove that myth.

Mama is a lifeline in a strange world. Having traveled the world in her time, living for a large portion of her life in America, she understands something about Farang, and she furthermore understands that she gets a large portion of my salary each month. She means well, but she does worry that I may find myself jobless some day, bless her.

She has been nothing but good to me though, and in the absence of a biological mother on hand to offer offbeat musings and parental support, Mama has taken a lead role in my day to day life. She lets me pay my rent when it suits, sets up a tab for food and drink and generally offers help and advice about anything and everything as and when needed.

She rarely moves from her seat. The only time I have ever seen her leave the restaurant in more than a year of living here was when she took my friend Andy and I to the crocodile farm. She made us wake up at 6 am for that one. I think it was the first time she had left the building for several years.

She watches soaps avidly, and I have never seen her eating. I feel I have something of a safety barrier living here. The building is small and Mama’s presence seems to cast some sort of force field around it, thus protecting me and my belongings.

Mama has a number of foreign sons. They come and go, and indeed I may go sometime soon as well. My room is rather small and basic, although I do have a lizard who lives in my bathroom. So it’s not all bad.