My first glimpse of Patong by night was less exciting than I had imagined. Whenever discussions about Patong come up, I’m usually asked, “Oh, but have you been there at nighttime?” People in Phuket have been implying that Patong’s nightlife is something out of the ordinary, but I haven’t seen anything here that you can’t find elsewhere in Thailand.

The night began at a steady pace. I was with two friends and we arrived at Patong to sample the nighttime activities around 8pm. Our first stop was H2O, a new bar at the end of Soi Post Office (great name for a soi) round the corner from McDonalds on Taweewong Road. The owner of the bar was excitedly telling us how different his venue was to others in Patong, and while he had a point, I got the impression that he was aiming at people who like karaoke.

Sure enough, after the Elvis impersonator (yes, really) had sung a few numbers, people in the crowd were invited up on stage. A Korean boy massacred R Kelly’s “I Believe I can Fly” to rapturous applause. The bar had an interesting water feature in channels of water being integrated into the floor, dividing the main seating area into little islands. Unfortunately the water had been leaking and the feature was awaiting completion. I think this bar will do well with tourists, and it has cheap beer (70 baht) so it should see good business.

After out brush with The King we went to Soi Bangla. Soi Bangla is a hive of activity after 9 pm. Busty Thai girls, screaming ladyboys and sunburnt tourists can be seen in all directions. I was amazed by the number of groups of young boys “on tour”, as their T-shirts informed me. It was bizarre to see these teenagers stumbling along, bottled beer in hand, leering at the girls and looking like they had found heaven.

Scruffy Murphy’s Irish pub is an Irish pub. That’s all you need to know about it. All Irish pubs around the world are identical. The tourists were loving it. There was nothing that stood out about Scruffy Murphy’s. The drinks were reasonably priced (100 baht a bottle), the band was fairly entertaining and there were very few Thai people inside.

The highlight of the night was to be my first visit to Seduction. I’d heard a lot about Seduction. I gather that it is the focal point of clubbing in Patong, and this year’s Phuket Film Festival will see an event hosted there. Seduction on Soi Bangla is nothing special.

Seduction has a large dancefloor, some places to sit, and a loud sound system. The music was charmless, with standard hip hop progressing to commercial house and best-forgotten dance hits. But still, it’s a fun kind of place, and I’m yet to find anywhere better. The door charge was 50 baht, or free if you got a flyer from the guy by the entrance.

Nothing to write home about Patong’s nightlife yet, but I did see Elvis.

Techno’ tags: Patong, Phuket, Soi Bangla