Save the chickens! Paris Hilton will deliver them from evil! Those crazy folks from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) have written to Paris Hilton asking her to become the new face for chickens’ rights. Apparently Paris’ time behind bars is comparable to that of chickens spending their time in coops. I guess there are some similarities.

Now that Paris Hilton has found God she will need an army to lead, and that army may as well be a bunch of chickens. She will require a group of devotees on a similar intellectual plane.

“KFC – that’s not hot!” is the planned slogan for Paris Hilton’s chicken campaign.

If you haven’t heard, Paris Hilton has now decided that her little holiday in celebrity jail is an opportunity given to her by God to reinvent herself as a model citizen.

And what did the princess of parties do with her revelation? Did she sit quietly contemplating life? No, she did what any of us would do in her situation: she telephoned Barbara Walters, host of American TV Show The View.

It’s one thing to find God, but it’s another altogether to make a song and dance about it for the world’s media. What sort of God has Paris set aside for herself? She’s clucking mad.

Paris Hilton will now use her fame to help others. She’s been reading self-help books, has been speaking to a spiritual advisor, and is convinced that she is no longer going to “act dumb”.

Sufferers of breast cancer and multiple sclerosis, as well as sick children, are now able to look forward to Paris standing up and fighting their cause.

Paris Hilton has stunned fans during her time in jail by saying, “I haven’t looked in a mirror since I got here.” She then went on to say how other inmates had been commenting on her dry skin, which she put down to a lack of moisturiser in jail.

Techno’ tags: Paris Hilton