There was a DJ contest at Jungceylon shopping mall yesterday that I had been excited about for a while. The press information had mentioned scratching a few times, and the impression I got that this was going to be a real DJ battle, like a DMC or ITF competition. I arrived at about 6:30 pm and waited for over an hour for the competition to begin.

The thing with any event that is held for the general public in Thailand is that there are a few guidelines that have to be adhered to.

The hostess

There must always be a pretty, pale-skinned, skinny girl on stage who speaks broken English and has a permanent smile. The hostess at Jungceylon was a typical Thai, wannabe superstar. She obviously knew nothing about DJing, but she managed the sort of forced excitement usually reserved only for children’s television presenters.

Branding

Branding is everything in Thailand. The fact that the DJ contest was being held at Jungceylon (Phuket’s largest mall, as the hostess kept reminding everybody) wasn’t enough. Each of the six DJs was forced to wear a pathetic Jungceylon T-shirt. They had them all standing in a row while the hostess threw inane questions at them. It was so not cool.

Management

The general manager of Jungceylon had to do his bit, and he gave a dull speech about one thing and another before walking off and not actually watching the DJ competition he was so proud of.

Entertainment

You can’t have an event in Thailand without some sort of dance exhibition involving small children, most of who can’t even dance. There were a few breakdancers who were quite cool, but the whole dance shenanigans seemed to go on forever. It was supposed to be a DJ contest. The whole event would have been much better off in a night club. Thailand's shopping malls don't suit hip events like DJ contests.

The competition began and sadly there were no scratch DJs; there weren’t even any turntables. The DJs were decent enough, playing tough, techy house, electro, tribal, and so on. The contest would have passed by without anything of note, but for one thing: DJ Eddy.

I had never heard of this guy before, but he stood out a mile with his enormous hair. He had brought a large fan club with him and people went nuts as soon as he began his half-hour set. People were dancing in the middle of a shopping mall!

Eddy was a real character. He focused his set on running around the stage, bouncing up and down, waving his arms, clanging two small symbols together, and playing a Thai xylophone (real name, anyone?) on stage. He hardly touched the CDJs. It was bizarre.

I didn’t stay around long enough to see who won the event because it got boring quickly. Worth seeing for Eddy’s maniacal set, but I probably won't be going to any more DJ contests in Thailand.

Techno' tags: Thailand, Phuket