“I’d been working out in the gym, been on the bikes, done a bit of weightlifting, and had a go on the treadmills. I was pretty tired so I figured I’d go to the sauna and relax for a bit. I got in there, and ‘cos I wear glass I got steamed up and couldn’t really see anything. I managed to find the seat and sat down and took a rest. I’d been there for about two minutes when out of nowhere I felt this hand grab my thigh. I was confused, to put it lightly. I rubbed my glasses, looked to my left and there was this Thai guy with an enormous grin and his hand clasped around my thigh like he was buying a mango or something.”

This was how my friend Burt’s story began. Burt is a young Englishman with an unfortunate name. His parents were a little cruel when they threw him that moniker, but after 25 years with a name I guess you get used to it. I wasn’t exactly sure what Burt was getting at here, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“Are you sure you were at the gym?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“What sort of gym?”

“Just a normal, regular, standard gym. But it’s full of gay people. It’s just a gym on a university campus. There’s nothing seedy about it and it’s not one of those massage parlors or anything. It’s just a gym. This guy, he grabbed me and I pushed him off and gave him a look so he knew I wasn’t like that. He backed off and I got back to enjoying me sauna. Next thing I know, this fella’s got up and sat right opposite me… and he’s looking at my wiener! He looked to be getting a little excited with himself so I just got up and left.”

For some reason, gyms in Bangkok double as gay meeting points. I’ve never heard of anything like it, but apparently Burt’s story is not an isolated incident.

A Thai friend of mine told me this story: “My Dad started going to a gym because he wanted to get fit. The first time he went, he came back and said that it was just full of naked guys walking around hugging each other. He never went back after that and he just stays home now.”

Could it really be that gay people are scaring would-be gym-users into staying at home and choosing X-Box over bench press? The association of the gay social scene with public gyms is a new one on me. Burt is adamant that he cannot go to his local gym without being hit on or greeted by glistening bodies wearing nothing but Speedos.

I used to go to a gym in the UK. As far as I can remember, there was nothing gay about it. If anything, it was quite the opposite. Naked men hugging each other would probably have been asked to leave. Furthermore, if my friend Burt had been in a gym and had sat down next to a pretty Thai girl and started touching her leg, no doubt there would have been an uproar; but is such a comparison even valid? Another eye-opener came when reading a friend’s blog about his first experience at a gay sauna:

Honestly, I've never been into a real gay world before. I mean, there were hundreds of guys around me and everyone is gayyyy! Moreover they were all shirtless or just a bikini! Damn it could be my heaven. There were Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Hong Kong, European, etc. Some of them were really old which could be my great grandparent (I don’t want to speak about this point cause it sounds racist and I know I would be like that in the future which I don’t want to be so maybe I will die at 55!). Muscle, chubby, fat, skinny, bald or even a gay that totally out (I mean he walk around like a model!).

My friend showed me every room. There were a lot of rooms which some guys waiting in front of the room like the hooker waiting for customer, and when they agree to do something which we can know it by the eye contact, they will go into the room together and yeah u know the next scene. And there was a room called "the dark room" that it was so dark till u cant see anything which u can touch a lot of emmm, u know that thing, my senior tried to push me into that room but I said no cause it like a monster house.

I can’t decide if this sort of thing is unusual or not. Heaven forbid if Burt or anyone else found himself unwittingly in a sauna such as this one; there could be some ugly confrontations.

“I don’t mind gay people,” continued Burt, “that’s not the point. But it just makes me feel a little uncomfortable when they are at the gym being so open about it. I wouldn’t want to see it if they were gay, straight, Asian, or Western. I just want to go to the gym and work out. That’s it.”

I understand what Burt is saying because he feels as if his personal space is invaded at a time when he is seeking solitude, but not all gyms are like this… are they? I asked another friend and got this response: “Pretty much all gyms in Bangkok are full of gay people. That’s just the way it is.” That scuppered my theory then.

You could argue that this is a question of a straight man’s acceptance of gay people, but Burt’s experiences tell a story of having his privacy violated. The question of sexuality becomes almost immaterial, it’s more about a social stigma. I got this quote from Varayut Milintajinda, a Thai actor who is gay: "Everybody loves good people. So, be good people. Do some good work for society, and society will accept our lifestyles."

This seems to be fundamental about the scenario that is playing out in gyms across Bangkok as confused foreigners attempt to sweat it out in saunas. Gay lifestyles are sometimes very openly on display in the Land of Smiles, more so than in many parts of the Western world. Gay lifestyles, however, don’t seem to accommodate a straight person’s mentality when it comes to going to the gym. It seems to be a clash of ideals and nothing more.

I could tell that Burt was a little troubled. He told me that he wants to keep going back to the gym, but he’s a little wary of doing so now. Gays and straights work out harmoniously in other countries because neither demographic makes a point to wear their sexuality on their sleeves. Maybe this is the backlash of gay acceptance, in that some people want to scream their identities from the rooftops. However, it’s dangerous to generalize here, partly because not all homosexual people are even comfortable with being labeled as gay.

Perhaps this is something neither Burt nor I can ever really understand. For the moment I think I am content to stay at home and occasionally do sets of press ups in my own space as and when needed. Getting steamed up in a sauna doesn’t sound so appealing right now.

Techno' tags: Victory Monument, Bangkok, Thailand, Gay sauna