Thailand's get-out-of-jail-free cards
I’ve been here for more than two years and I still don’t have my get-out-of-jail-free card. What’s a boy to do? There are a number of lucky foreigners who arrive in Thailand and meet the right sort of people, get acquainted and then get the card.
I was first introduced to these magic cards by the craziest man I’ve ever met – an intense American from Mississippi. The stories I could tell you about this guy would make you laugh, cry and scream with despair. At one point, he was on top of the world, having inherited 1 million baht and got his life on track. Within one month he was broke and married with an overstay of several years on his passport.
One day he just disappeared and nobody has heard from him since. Back to the card: Before my Mississippian friend had inherited his fortune, he was working as a language teacher for one of the local schools. He also taught a few corporate lessons, one of which was attended by some well-to-do woman who kept asking my friend to go out with her.
She became so attached to my friend that she gave him a business card and said, “You ever get in trouble, you show that card.”
Sure enough, my friend got in trouble frequently. Every time the police bugged him, he just pulled out this business card, smiled and watched the policeman back off. That’s the power of certain family names in Thailand. It’s kind of sickening to think how much influence and esteem lies in a name, but it’s an interesting part of Thai culture.
The business card my friend had was so unmemorable that I can’t even remember what it looked like. Despite my numerous efforts to become associated with older hi-so women, I’m yet to find one who will take me in and look after me.
So come on then, who else has somehow acquired a get-out-of-jail-free card?
Yep, I have one It is the card of a Senator of my (slight) acquaintance. The effect is truly miraculous. I am reminded of an episode from my childhood when you dare not touch a certain offensive little lad because he knew the local bully. Same sort of thing.
As charming as it seems, and as useful as it can be to have such a thing, Thais cannot expect to be taken seriously when this kind of behaviour exists.
I heard a psychologist opine recently that most Thais are at about the same stage on the Piaget Scale as a 9-year old in the West. I think I can see why he said that.
I've heard of these cards too. I'm also on the prowl to try and get one myself.
"Despite my numerous efforts to become associated with older hi-so women, I’m yet to find one who will take me in and look after me."
Want to be gigolo?
Important Thai contacts are a very important part of long term survival in Thailand for foreigners.
It is important to mention that you should only use these contacts in the most serious of situations.
Also, you must be discrete and Thai like when bringing them up. Here were my two tactics:
Tell the official that you cannot understand Thai but he can call your friend to translate (present business card of Khun Somchai na Ayudhaya or what have you)
Tell the official that you're friends with such and such (being a local official, not terribly imposing). The official will ask how you know him, and you say that you played golf with him and a real fat cat and that you're good friends with the fat cat.)
I thought I had one – someone from what I assume is Thailand's version of the Special Branch who was escorting a high-ranking Japanese government minister whilst on a visit to our offices. We spent about 30 minutes chatting and he said we should keep in touch. He wrote his email addresses on his business card and said I should contact him to arrange dinner with him and his wife. That was back in January and I am still waiting for his reply.
But I agree totally with what you say about the culture here about 'who you know'. It invades business and society at all levels.
I think we all know someone who has had this "get out of jail free" experience. However, I think it's another one of these tales that sounds better over a pint than it does in practice. After all, not all police are the same, not every powerful person is affiliated with the same side and times change. Just think, a couple of years ago the police were basically Thaksin's personal army, now they are looking to extradite him.
I'm sure it does help a lot to know people in high places but I doubt many low-so farangs can truly really on being above the law and those who tell tales of being so (they nearly always seem to be second hand anecdotes) probably need to grow up.
thailand: what a ridiculous country
This is one of the most amusing telltale stories you have ever told!
That is really funny. I wish I could have one too; but I do not think I need one, even if this card really exists, it is not such a life-giving thing for me and my friends.
It is one of the meat-and-potatoes aspects of this country to have a really close link to some specific people, whom I, and many of my friends, associate with so as to obtain whatever it is that I occasionally yearn for. I see no problem with this practice at all. It makes our lives easier.
If you are in deep trouble, you can call me any time, but the problem is that I don't know you.
One thing to remember, without being an inverted snob, I don't usually want to be acquainted with common people, either Thais or Farangs. I just don't want my image to be tarnished by these riff-raff or any plebs. They are not really my cup of tea at all.
Are you an old laddy Sooksiam? ;-p
Yes, and if you are, can you take care of me? I promise I'm not a riff raff.
I suspect Sooksiam is one of *those*. You know, puts her head up her ass, reports sunshine and fresh winds and expects everyone to take her seriously. Riff-raff… and doesn't even know what inverse snobbery is. Hilarious. Great stand-up stuff… Encore!
"What is in a name ? " Apparently it works in certain cultures where background and family tree plays crucial roles in choosing you life partner. But will you want to be a "slave" to that person forever , coz surely you are at her mercy unless you find a way to get rid of her.
i dont but i ll ask for one next time i go bkk… ahahaha
No, have no such card. Could be very helpful in some situations I think.
But is there a database to check the names? Suppose you get a so called get-out-of-jail card and it's a fake one with a name on it that gets you in even bigger trouble? :-)
yeah a fake would do… they would not call the important person on the card at 4am to ask questions….
no i haven't…but seems like a necessary item to possess in t/land:)
I have six of these cards, the owner of a printer who happens to have printed business cards for a number of that government officials gave them to me one night, while we were sharing a few drinks, he said whenever you have problem, don't say anything, show this, no problem, case closed. i have already used three of them, once at immigration, traffic stop and to help one friend, this printer is located close to seacon square. as i'll be leaving this country soon, i have three left, and all three names are still very much in power despite the coup so… if anyone wants… you can email me
To PeterS
I know that you got a GF; but I cannot help having a crush on you.