The Lost Boy

The streets have eyes

One thing that will forever stay with me, haunt me perhaps, is the way people have stared at me while I've been in Bangladesh. It's something I've never experienced quite on such a scale. I'm not the most well-travelled chap, admittedly; I've spent most of my time in Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia and Timor-Leste while I've been out in this part of the world. Bangladesh is a different kettle of fish altogether.

I fully appreciate that I'm an oddball here. I'm tall, pale, blonde-haired and green-eyed. I accept that walking around by myself, be it in Dhaka, the capital, or elsewhere, I draw attention to myself just by being there. But the stares are something else.

I've been here on my own for about four weeks, so my feelings are no doubt compounded by the fact that I'm on a solo mission. Even though I'm here to work, I'm essentially doing it as an independent. I've had to travel around a lot, use public transport and walk from place to place. Everywhere I go, I'm gawped at.

At first I shrugged it off. I'd experienced it in other countries, although to a much lesser extent. Here, people literally stop whatever they are doing to stare at me. They stop dead in their tracks. They stop working. They stop eating. Their eyes follow me. Even here in Dhaka, the urban centre of the country, I'm a freak.

I can feel the eyes on me and when I look back at people, with their mouths ajar, they carry on staring. Initially I'd say hello, give people a nod or just smile, but after a while, it became exhausting. As it is now, I just end up getting into mini staring contests that I invariably end up winning after about 10 seconds.

It's been making me go a little crazy. I walk around talking to all the people who stare at me, muttering things to them. "Yes, hello, have a good look. I'm here all week. Hi there." I walk around saying things like that. I must look demented to these people.

I try not to get annoyed by people staring at me, but when it's hot and I'm sweating and running around trying to make appointments, I sometimes lose my temper and get a little agitated. Occasionally I'll make a gesture as if to say, "What?!" I hate myself for getting angry because I know I'm the one who is the guest here, but I can't help it.

Sometimes I just want to scream. I can't even go to the shop without experiencing this. It's that feeling when you walk into a restaurant and everyone turns to look at you. Only they don't stop looking.

People crowd around me to watch as I do menial tasks in public, like writing on a notepad or making a call or eating an apple. There is no sense of intrusion. When I stop a CNG (like a tuk-tuk), people will lean in to listen to what I'm asking the driver, and I always get a small crowd when I'm haggling the fare.

Now and then, people will come and talk me, or at least ask, "Your country?" This I don't mind. It involves some kind of interaction. It's refreshing. But mostly, people just talk with their eyes.

It's perhaps my general personality which is the problem here. I don't know how other people who have visited Bangladesh feel about this kind of thing. It isn't that people are unfriendly; they're curious, you know, and they see nothing wrong with following me around.

Again, when I'm in a good mood, early in the morning, I take it all in my stride, but as the day wears on and I have to rush from interview to interview, it all starts to grate. It's also the fact that there are just so many people in this country. It is the most densely populated country on earth and there ate crowds everywhere.

The novelty of the crowds and the traffic wore thin after a few days. Plus the fact that I keep getting sick has really clouded my enjoyment of my time in Bangladesh. But, it has been a hell of an experience.