Leaving parties are great. They’re a chance to relive happy memories, say goodbye to friends and bid farewell to the clowns you didn’t really get along with but had to bear anyway. In Thailand, a leaving party is much the same as in the West as people go out, get drunk – the usual. But if people ever throw you a leaving party in Thailand, don’t forget to foot the bill or you might end the night on a sour note.
When I left my last job, everyone was excited at the prospect of heading to Pla Dib after work to drink whiskey and eat great food. One of the girls at work told me how much she was looking forward to the party and that I would have to pay for the drinks. I thought she was joking and laughed it off. Even when she threatened not to come, I still didn’t believe her.
The night came around and eventually it dawned on me that this is some sort of Thai custom – the leaver pays. Whereas back home, you’d expect to be treated by your colleagues, in Thailand, the logic appears to be that people are attending because of you, so you should treat them. It makes sense really, but can be a little confusing. I think my colleagues took pity on me and we ended up sharing the bill, but I definitely broke some unwritten rule.
A friend of mine in Bangkok is holding a leaving party next week. She had the bright idea of charging everyone 250 baht to attend, but she is still going to have to stump up 4,000 baht extra. She had a preliminary leaving party this week and it cost her 3,000 baht.
If you’re going to stay in Thailand for any length of time, it would be wise not to change jobs too often. Leaving the country could result in financial ruin, so better do it on the quiet (that's a joke, by the way).
Addendum: Well, I've asked a few more people about this and it looks like I might be completely wrong. In Bangkok, this is what I was told is tradition, but some people are saying it's the complete opposite. Can anyone clear this up? I'm a bit confused now.
what a bad idea Matt,I think you wrong for somthing you have wrote..ask for a friend.
Have I misunderstood the situation here? The whole thing really confuses me.
Someone just told me I've been had and that my friends were just teasing me! Lol. I've really got no idea now.
I've had a few "going away" parties and I was always treated to lavish outings, never being asked to pay one satang.
Doh.
Well, in Bangkok I've have always found that the person who's birthday it is is expected to foot the bill, whereas when I lived in London we generally divided the bill up among all the non-birthday people.
Fortunately, I haven't had to get a job yet…
Actually, it rather depends on who you are, as to whether you're expected to pay the bill. I can't speak for job leaving parties as I've never been in that specific situation myself, but I can speak for many parties involving work colleagues. For most isocial gatherings the rule is generally the same: Thailand still largely retains a hierarchical social system, and the more status you have then the more you're expected to foot the bill. To refuse to do so would be seen as seriously stingy, followed by a unhelpful loss of face! So if you're the boss and you're holding a party for your minions before moving on to another firm then you'd almost certainly be expected to cough up. Of course, things get a bit more confusing for a farang, used to at least the "perception of equality". Even in a gathering of "social equals", the Thai still have a remarkable ability to quickly establish the social pecking order and assign duties accordingly. Most of it is unspoken, which makes it a bit hard if you're a farang! Hopefully some thoughtful soul among your colleauges has taken it upon themself to inform you of the result!
Things can be a bit diferent, again, when the Thais are somewhat younger, more westernized and more used to working directly with farang . Many younger Thais in the cities dont follow the old hierarchical system to quite the same degree and are quite happy to divide bills along western lines. This happens a lot in my own company, where I employ mainly well-educated urban Thais, many of whom have travelled extensively. Many of them are quite happy to buy the boss a beer!
That's really interesting. Nice one.