I didn’t update this blog much last week. Some of you would call this laziness, but it was really just that I had other things to think about. Someone in my family died recently. It hasn’t really sunk in yet because I’ve had enough distractions that have kept my mind occupied.
I don’t feel particularly sad for myself; it’s more a sadness for those who are affected more than I am. How are you supposed to deal with death anyway? In the past few years, three members of my family have died (that I know of). I haven’t dwelled on these events perhaps as I should have. Particularly now, I feel so far away and removed from my life in the UK.
Although it troubles me that I will die some day, I don’t think about these things half as much as I did when I was a child. There were times when I’d wake up in a cold sweat with a head full of worry about the fact that I will probably die. I had a vague hope that the scientists of the future would one day figure out how to make us all live forever. It came as a blow a couple of years ago to learn that humans are genetically wired to not live much beyond 120 years at most.
As it is, I’m about quarter-way through my life and it’s gone OK so far. I’m yet to turn to any form of religion, other than a brief stint in the Hare Krishna movement some time ago. It often takes the death of someone close to us to turn us to religion, so perhaps that is a stage in my life still to come.
Well, first of all, I'm a big believer in blogging without obligation. I am always happy to see a post from you but you certainly have no obligation to provide that. :)
Sorry about your family members… or more accurately, that it has caused you any particular anxiety.
For me, death is a passage like any other… and though it may be a loss to me in that I can no longer see that friend's body – or hear their thoughts – I am also happy to know they have passed on to the next phase of existence.
I don't share the western dread of death or sadness attached to it. It's like finishing a class and it's time to graduate.
You really don't have to do this in order to respond to my complaint. I get your point. The fact that I am going away means that I genuinely expect you to update your blog every day this week.
Don't worry Sooksiam. It wasn't in response to your comment, but rather your comment got me onto a trail of thought that lead me to write it. And what do you mean you are going away? Where are you going?
You should live your life as happily as you can while you are still alive. I don't think you are living it meaninglessly either. The fact that people come to read your blog indicates that it must really mean something to them.
I am sorry to hear that you have lost one of your family.
Vacation.
Matt, it's spooky you wrote this post as my Grandad passed away yesterday (Monday) evening. It was expected as he's been ill for a while but it's still somewhat of a shock. I now have to make the decision whether to fly back to the UK for the funeral next week.
Death is one of those primal fears that encompass just about everyone at some time or another. Most religions are based on speculations as to why there is something after death and what it is, and about 95% of all people have a religion. As people, we have a need to understand, reconcile and assimilate worrying possibilities so we can cope with them. Unfortunately there is no scientifically credible evidence that there is anything after death at all. Since all of our processing of reconciliation and assimilation is rational and conscious, this lack of rational evidence means that we have to resort to faith (non-rational) positions for comfort and reassurance. The majority of people have been able to accept some kind of faith-based acceptance of this particular unknown, and all that is required is some determined suspension of disbelief. Fortunately, if one can believe that some dumbass DJ is worthy of hero-worship, then suspension of disbelief shouldn't be too much of a problem.
The problem is, that in a country such as Thailand, where people are superstitious beyond belief and the mean intelligence level is so poor as to deposit many, many students in a remedial learning category, all kind of odd beliefs proliferate, and it becomes way too easy to adopt a faith-based approach to the problems of life rather than applying any actual thought to resolving them. A good example would be to propitiate the spirits by beeping one's car horn when going through an accident blackspot, where driving lessons or road restructuring or better signage and law enforcement would actually be much more significant in avoiding or preventing accidents. The real problem with this kind of phenomenon is that we are all basically herd animals. hence we beep our horn simply because everyone else does – to feel safe without any real thought as to whether we are safe or just engaging in herd behaviour so we *feel* safe.
But then superstition is easy and doesn't require either thought or effort so it is obvious which choice Thais will take…
Bedwyr
Yes, Bedwyr… you sound like Henry Higgins. "Why can't a woman be more like a man?"
Why can't Thais be more like you?
Everyone has their superstitions, even those who believe their societies are superior to others.
Bedwyr, let's give credit where credit is due. Those car horns at places where roads and signage are less than ideal are accomplishing the same goal as daytime running lights, that is, alerting other drivers and pedestrians to the presence of a vehicle. Nothing against driver education, better roads, signage, and law enforcement, but those beeping horns may decrease the incidence of accidents. For one, remembering to honk at such places also functions to remind the driver honking that the place is accident-prone, so that the driver pays better attention.
Do you think that maybe your determined suspension of belief is your way of trying to reconcile and assimilate truths that are easier to ignore than understand? If I didn't know Christ, I don't know how I'd cope with the fact that I have a Creator, that He is perfect, powerful, everywhere, all-knowing, just, and mercifully compassionate, and that I will have to answer to Him for every thought and action. Who knows? Maybe I'll die in an accident that could have been prevented by a little horn-honking. I'm ready.
Just make sure you do everything you want to do in your life Matt. Life is short, time flies etc. cliches can be true.
Yes Chani, thanks for that. But the real question is 'why can't Thais be more like everyone else?'
Sorry you are so steeped in inverse prejudice you cannot see the reasonableness of the comment but choose to interpret what you evidently don't like as mere prejudice on my part. Perhaps you were educated in Thailand so rational analysis and objectivity will not be failings of yours.
Smile, the rest of the world may stop laughing at Thais sometime…
Bedwyr
Kevin hi. Your comment would be reasonable had Matt not already implied in his original post that this continues to be an accident blackspot to evidently the 'beeping' is doing no good at all. Also, there is an argument that people honking their horns actually distracts other drivers to look for the hazard referred to by the honking rather than paying attention to the road. I think this is a valid point given Matts comments about the place.
You mention my determined suspension of belief but I in fact referred to a suspension of disbelief so I am unsure as to your point; however (trust me on this) you will find it difficult to sustain any suggestion of superstition or religious credulity on my part. Besides, from your post, you suggest you are a born-again Christian. I am happy for your spiritual comfort but that does not suggest any great religious exploration on your part, even if that were the point I was making, which it wasn't. Myself, I prefer a more in-depth and approach which provides at least some objectivity among all of the subjectivity that usually comprises religious belief.
Bedwyr