The worst movies of all time
There was a Thai movie that came out last year about a girl who finds a puppy. From watching the trailer I had little faith that the movie would be worth seeing, and indeed, friends who saw it (Thais and foreigners) said it was one of worst movies of all time. I decided to give it a miss, but in thinking of the worst movies I have ever seen I couldn’t help but laugh to myself when recollecting that trailer. Perhaps I ought to watch that movie.
Sometimes you watch movies that are just so bad you wonder why they didn’t go straight to TV. There are some movies, however, that are so bad they become great, either through irony or just sheer absurdity. Movies such as Arachnophobia fit this bill. That movie was so bad that it became hilarious. There were points where you could see metal rods moving the spiders, or supposedly hidden hands moving props around. There’s even a shower scene where you can clearly make out a skin-coloured swimsuit. John Goodman is part of the reason why Arachnophobia was so damn funny. Classic.
I’ve compiled my top 5 worst movies of all time, but of course, this is just one lowly blogger’s opinion. These are only the top 5 all-time worst movies that I’ve ever seen. What I dislike may be adored by many others. Anyway, I’ll get on with my list.
- Police Academy 2 through 7
It’s hard to believe that the original Police Academy, released in 1984, was actually quite funny. It had a fab cast (Guttenberg, Cattrall, Gaynes) but it spawned one of the worst franchises in movie history. If you’ve ever sat through any of the Police Academy sequels then you will know the meaning of the word “torture”. They were humourless. Someone even had the bright idea of making a TV series in 1997. The last movie was released in 1994, but there have been rumours of Police Academy 8 being unleashed onto an unsuspecting general public. Please God, no!
- Malibu’s Most Wanted
I have friends who claim this is one of the funniest movies they have ever seen. Malibu’s Most Wanted was hard to watch. It was a kind of comedy, but really it just left me cringing at how bad an actor Jamie Kennedy is. The whole white boy pretending to be black thing is so overdone, and in this movie Kennedy takes to his role like a cat to water.
- She’s the Man
It was sad to watch a young actress, Amanda Bynes, destroy whatever sex appeal she might have had by taking on the role of a girl pretending to be a boy. The fact that she can’t act didn’t help. Not even Vinnie Jones turning up could save this turkey. I would have walked out of this movie if I hadn’t been with my girlfriend.
- Halloween 3
This one confused the hell out of me when I first saw it. Released in 1982, it had nothing to do with Michael Myers. Instead, it focused on an absurd plot by a mask-making company to kill millions of children on Halloween with evil masks. Halloween 3 was terrible, and I would say it’s the worst horror movie I’ve ever seen.
- Rocky 5
The fifth installment of the Rocky series was pitiful. The filmmakers effectively destroyed Rocky’s character by depicting him as a complete loser. This wasn’t a real Rocky movie. It had some merits in its own right, but to go from Rocky destroying Ivan Drago to becoming a bumbling moron just didn’t make sense. Thank God they made one more sequel to pick up the slack.
So, that’s my top 5 list for the worst movies of all time. What do you guys think? What movies would be on your list?
Techno' tags: Movies
June 14th, 2007 at 9:04 am
Worst movies eh! Rambo 3 was on TV here last week. I caught a few minutes of it, surely that should be in the running for such an accolade. Diabolical tripe! The wife made me sit through a Thai love story a few years ago and that, like most Thai movies, was unbearable. I'll try and find the title so you can have a look. Oh, and don't forget some of Arnie's early movies, Red Sonia springs to mind (I think that's what it was called).
How's life in Phuket? Permanent move or just short term? I guess you're moving in the right direction, ie. towards a border! Sorry about that.
June 14th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
I'm not a movie fan and can't recall all the bad ones. Truthfully, I've never sat through one. If I don't like it, I get away from it. :) I would say that sappy or violent movies are the ones I don't like.
I like thoughtful movies with beautiful scenery.
Peace,
~Chani
June 14th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
mmm…except for the guys who made tropical malady, last life in the universe/invisible waves/ploy, most thai films are a no-no with cheap and often weird sense of humour. hollywood films are too full of sound and fury 'signifying nothing'. my list of worst movies would overflow an a4 size paper (written on both sides). seriously though, your list of 5 worst movies fill my list too…
June 14th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
LOL, your Google Ads are advertising "Beautiful Thai women seeking German men"! I wonder if that's what most German websurfers on sites about Thailand are looking for!
As for movies, trying to think of the 5 worst is tough. I'd put Supernova on my list though. James Spader movies are really either hit or miss for me.
June 15th, 2007 at 1:28 am
I didn't see She's the Man, but I cringed when I heard it was "based on" Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, one of my favorite plays.
June 15th, 2007 at 5:17 am
Nothing could possibly tops Battlefield Earth. I never wanted walk out of a movie, giving it the full benefit of the doubts, but this one I actually created excuses to walk out a few times. At the end, pretty much the whole group agreed, we should've all walked out together. LOL.
June 16th, 2007 at 9:12 am
I think you are being unneccessarily forgiving of the earlier films in the Rocky franchise with the exception of the original. If memory serves Rocky was a bumbling moron in every film. Sylvester Stallone imitating John Wayne's acting technique. Just be yourself.
June 17th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Yeah but at least in 2 and 3 he had some sort of purpose. They weren't great, but they weren't as bad as 5. 4 was pure awesomeness though.
June 18th, 2007 at 5:40 am
Anaconda and Critters are best movies of all time.
July 7th, 2007 at 7:43 am
I am a huge fan of great bad movies. Probably the best bad movie of all time is Sinbad of the Seven Seas. If you haven't seen it, you're seriously missing out. I mean, Lou Ferrigno and his pecs! Need I say more? A close second would be Slither. It has the best action sequence ever – with a doormat.